Judgement Day

As I'm writing this I am now a fully fledged thirty year old. Tragically I am too poor to have a full on midlife crisis so have made up for it by joining twitter-@andynaylor81 if you're on it/care/can be arsed!Obviously this had brought to an end the purpose of my blog which was to tick of a list of challenges before I hit the big one.
Looking back at the last six months brings many emotions. Pride/ disappointment/ enjoyment/ pain but most of all a slight sense of achievement. Out of the 30 challenges that I set myself I managed to tick off most of them but have left myself a list of a few that got away:

Learn to Juggle/ Learn an Impressive Magic Trick

Purely due to having the coordination of a one legged weeble who's been on the sauce I found it nigh on impossible to master juggling two balls, let alone three. I vow to continue but i fear it may take some time. With the magic I was also scuppered by having such slow hand speed that no trick I could possibly learn looked any good.Paul Daniels I salute you.

BenchPress 100k

Ridiculously under estimated how heavy 100k is and underestimated how strong I am. End result not wanting to lose my body from the neck down and taking time to build up to the lift with my personal trainer Phil Stubbs.I'll be back.

Learn Basic sign Language

I'm actually doing ok with this but didn't want to rush it as I wouldn't want to undervalue a really difficult, important skill by cack handily attempting it on a stage.....plus I had trouble remembering most of the signs!

Learn More about the Middle east

To be honest a challenge that will probably take me the rest of my life to do!Didn't really narrow the challenge down enough to make a decent effort.Rest assured I have a couple of thick books to work through that should see me up to speed on at least the Israel/Palestine conflict before I'm forty!

Hold a Friends Baby

Selfishly, none of my friends who live in London have managed to spawn any offspring yet and it became a race against time and money to get down to my friend Harry in Ilfracombe to see his lovely new son Seth. Hopefully i will get down there soon and will post a picture of this challenge being completed.

Charity Shop Pub Crawl

One of the least impressive but likely to be the most enjoyable of challenges-anyone who's up for it I will be gathering the troops before the end of the summer to enjoy a little pint drinking/ charity shop visiting fun.


As you may have gathered by yesterdays facebook I have now finally managed to complete my skydive. I tried but failed miserably to look really non impressed in the photos and ended up looking like a slack jawed idiot. Good crack though.Photo below as well as snaps of the three course meal I treated Georgina to.

So as they say, that is about that. I want to thank everyone who actually sat down and read this blog, was really surprised by the amount of people who got behind me while I was doing it. Fankyoo!
Big thanks to Dai, Georgina, Tim Naylor, Gantie, John Ullyet, Ailwyn Cole, Chris Hatton at physical graffiti, Dan Lewis and everyone who came down to the show at the Memo.
Time for me to crack onwards and upwards then and actually have a stab at this writing game. I've chatted about it enough but still procrastinate and moan too much when I should be sat here typing and hopefully making someone take notice. Hope that if you enjoyed reading this you will continue to follow my articles as I upload them and thanks again for your time.

Naylor out. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Number 12: Get an article published

Going to have to use a bit of artistic licence with this challenge. My initial intention was to use my NCTJ in newspaper and magazine journalism to good effect and get me an article published. Since completing the course I have been narrowly denied on a couple of occasions. Heart breakingly having sold an article to the Wales on Sunday a week after completing my course, my interviewee asked for the article not to be run as his Mum wasn't happy with it. It was more than understandable as it was a very revealing article about personal family business and I completely understood his thoughts. However this didn't prevent me having a slight meltdown which ended up with me stubbing my toe after repeatedly booting a wall. From then on I have been able to write for a cracking new website called pale blue news but as yet am still to trouble a national publication. Probably due to the fact that when I should be researching articles I'm on here spouting about myself.Oh well!
Having had contact with the Wales on Sunday I sent them a brief description of the blog thinking that they might let me write up a small piece about it. Amazingly they were really interested in the blog and wanted to do an interview piece that was printed in last Sundays edition.Sweet!
I've scanned the article in and will hopefully get it uploaded to facebook at some point. Below is a picture of the article with my challenge number.Article published about me-done. Now, ten years until forty, reckon that's enough time for even a procrastinating idiot like me to get an article published somewhere....isn't it?!

Number 1: Do a Sky Dive

Most people have a skydiving story to regale the kids with. Usually in some exotic land, it involves a few too many beers the night before and then a " Booked it,packed it,fucked off" style adventure that ends with some frayed nerves, some awesome photos and a sense of achievement.
I however am attempting to skydive in the UK. A British skydiving story rolls a little bit more like this:
" It was mental! Got in the car about ten and drove down to a deserted airfield near Swindon. The skydivers who had been booked in at 9.30 that morning were still yet to go so about forty of us lay around on the floor of the centre.Some people watched the grand prix for a bit and we had a cheese burger each from the van.Then some guy told us it was still too windy and we went home.It was mental!"
Alas it falls to me to break the news that I will not be completing a skydive before I'm thirty.I'm re booked in for the 14th of July now which will be my third attempt and will fall two days after I hit the big 3-0.Oh well.
Cracking cheeseburger mind.

Number 17: Do something nice for someone who genuinly deserves it

One of my favourite challenges so far simply because of the big smile wrapped around Dais chops,  when he walked in to the restaurant and realised what was going on. For those of you who don't know, Dai is my father and also one of the best lads I know. I owe the man millions of pounds in actual money and a lot more for the help, support and pints of beers he's given me over the years. Last Saturday I organised a surprise 59th birthday for him at a local restaurant and managed to get 36 people there waiting for when I wandered in with the birthday boy. Couple of pictures below of one of the three tables and the man of the hour himself:

A quality night was had by all and I hope that the intended result of this challenge was more than achieved. If this wasn't enough to make the man glow with paternal pride then later on he must have been bursting as I joined local legend Kate Evans in a helium soaked renditions of "Happy Birthday" and "Delilah".
Thanks to My brother, his girlfriend Leah and my Aunt Jude for all their help and the fatman again for his generosity with the wine. Happy Birthday Big Man!

Number 23: Get a good Tattoo

On paper this was always going to be one of the challenges that could go horrifically wrong.The fact that the title of this challenge is to get a "good" tattoo, gives away the fact that I do have previous experience of going under the ink needle. It gives me little pride to admit that during my misspent youth I managed to acquire a Chinese symbol on my thigh after five cans of super strongbow. The said symbol is supposed to mean" To Win" which I did actually manage to verify in Japan. While that put paid to all the lame, possibly racist quips like "I bet it says Sweet and sour chicken", it still did little to change the fact that I was lumped for life with a pretty rubbish tattoo. To be fair, after a while even my parents saw the funny side and I've grown to accept if not love it. Still, when I drew up the list for this challenge I saw it as perhaps a chance to redeem myself for what had gone before.Another bonus was the fact that a mate of mine who I went to primary school with now has his own tattoo parlour in Cardiff. I got in touch with Chris and in true Naylor fashion had booked myself in and sent a deposit without really considering what I was getting myself into. A month and a half later I was trundling down the M4 with Georgina actually feeling quite excited.
All that changed in a matter of minutes when I arrived at Physical Graffiti. It was great to see Chris, who despite being a lot more heavily tattooed didn't look all that different to when I had last seen him about fifteen years ago. Everything was going to plan and a photographer was on his way from "The Wales on Sunday" to record the event for an article they have agreed to write about my blog.I was ready to get inked up!
Then Chris brought the design over and I realised with a sudden horror that it would take up half of my back. As my Dad and girlfriend looked on I began to mentally breakdown as my brain refused to compute the fact that I didn't have to have the tattoo if I didn't want to. All I saw was the fact that I had to finish what I'd started, the photographer was on his way, I couldn't go back now. Sweat started to drip down my forehead and burn my eyes. Its ok I thought to myself. How often do I look at my back?How often does anyone look at any ones back?
If it wasn't for Georgina, I would still be in Cardiff getting tattooed now. Taking the situation by the horns she suggested that perhaps I should ask for Chris to sketch the tattoo a little bit smaller. It seems obvious looking back but at the time I actually forgot that was possible.I have managed to get through the report so far without actually mentioning what the tat was going to be. I always find it a little bit wank when people talk about tattoos. Its hard to make it sound as good as it does in your head. They are pretty subjective as well aren't they?One mans Sistine chapel being another mans love and hate!In a nutshell though my idea was two get the two faces of drama on my back, with a little quote underneath. If for no other reason that:
A) tragedy and comedy pretty much sums up my life so far
B) Its on my back anyway so I figured I wouldn't have to look at it much if I hated it.
Anyway after a lot of deliberation and an embarrassing chat with Chris I eventually clambered into the tattoo chair. My dignity was now completely gone,amongst the other painted warriors in the shop I felt like one of the boys from Hanson trying to mix with Motley Crue. Still Chris had the needle in hand and the photographer was ready. Thirty minutes later I was proudly checking out my new tat in the mirror. Challenge completed and the photos to show for it!

Big Big thanks have to go to the talented Chris Hatton at physical graffiti for the artwork, anyone Wales based looking to get a tattoo should definitely give Chris a shout. Also I must thank Georgina Barnard and Dai for holding it all together when lesser people were losing their heads. Last but not least here's a pic of my formal tattoo so that even if you think this one is crap...........it cant hold a candle to this:

Thankyou and goodnight!

Number 3/31 Go Vegetarian for a month

OK. The reason there are two numbers on this is because it may very well have to go down as my first replacement challenge. As you all know I fully intended to replicate a full marathon distance run and record the suffering in this blog. Alas tragedy struck a month and a half ago as due to me over training in ridiculously worn and rubbish trainers I seem to have battered my knee to oblivion. Having hit the heights of completing a ten mile and then an eight mile run on consecutive days I have struggled since to top four or five without my knee complaining. I must admit this has got me a bit down as it does feel like giving up but I suppose it comes down to pushing on and trying to do it and putting myself out of action for the considerable or leaving this challenge to be something completed as a 30 year old.I myself am trying to look for consolation in the fact that its my top heavy stocky/muscular build weighing down on the knee joints that has done for me and not the fact that...........I'M REALLY OLD NOW!
However to replace this challenge I knew I had to push myself and do something that would normally be unimaginable. To know me is to know that I love chicken and to know me for a long time is to know that my diet used to consist of said poultry and potatoes. The odd vegetable did find its way in but only on insistence and the fact  I knew they were good for me. With age has come a bit of maturity and with my girlfriend Georgina being of the vegetarian persuasion I could have quoted Jules from pulp fiction in saying
"That pretty much makes me a vegetarian!"
Except it hadn't. No, despite reluctantly admitting that certain dishes were adequate without meat and perfecting a quorn lasagne there were still quite a few times I would make Georgina wait as I happily roasted my choice of animal carcass before we could eat together. If I actually thought about it, before this month the longest I'd been without eating meat was probably about a day.
Enter replacement challenge number 3: Go Veggie for a month.

The challenge started off badly as I combined it with a week of intense physical activity and also hung around with Lee Gant. Whilst watching "The Godfather" and attempting to eat a Spinach Tortilla( an experience I will never, ever repeat) Gantie tucked into half a chicken. On a trip to Snowdon as I oozed blood out of a head wound my comedy chum consoled me by saying" Oh well, at least you cant eat any meat either!", whilst steaming into a cheeseburger.
Gant aside, as the month progressed I did actually quite enjoy it. Having to be a bit more varied meant instead of waking up with five minutes to go and slapping together a ham sandwich, I was preparing Mediterranean Vegetable wraps to take to work. Instead of nipping out for a beer and a burger and feeling like I needed to lie down for a week,I was veggie burgering it up and finding that they weren't actually so bad after all.
Georgina and I even got to share a few meals( meaning she could nick some of mine if she wanted!). Ok there were a few night after a jar too many that I would have stabbed my grandmother for a bit of fried chicken and saturday mornings aren't the same without bacon. Twenty nine days into the challenge though I was smugly sailing through and looking forward to my first taste of meat since April. Disaster obviously followed with my abortive trip to attempt skydiving. On top of a two day hangover, the news that the skydive probably wouldn't happen must have scrambled my brain. My brother enquired as to whether I wanted a cheeseburger from a nearby fast food van and without even thinking I said yes. It didn't even occur to me that I had done anything wrong until I was wiping cow crumbs from my upper lip.Nightmare!
I had dreamt about breaking my meat fast for twenty nine days. In my subconscious I saw myself at an all you can eat Brazillian BBQ, Tucking into the most expensive steak at a quality restaurant or waiting, mouth watering and stomach gurgling as some speciality sausages from the farmers market turned on the grill.
As tends to happen in life though the reality was rather more ordinary. I ate a cheese burger from a fast food van in a field just outside Oxford. Technically I didn't make it a month but I'm going with this principle.
February has 28 days.
February is a month.
I didn't eat meat for 29 days.
I didn't eat meat for a month.
It was just unfortunate I chose May.
Did the cheeseburger taste good? It was like eating heaven in a bap.

Number 9: Do 5000 push ups in a week.

A challenge that I actually completed a few weeks ago but negated to write up. Some of these challenges haven't been as hard as I thought they would be, some have been a lot harder. This was every bit as horrible as I thought it would be. I probably didn't help myself by attempting this task in the first week of May, a month in which i had also decided to give up eating meat. Doing over 1000 push ups a day on chicken breasts would have been difficult, doing it on bananas, humus and quorn mince was torture.
I had set myself a bit of a schedule of doing about a 1000 a day on most days but having two days with 500 thus stretching them out over a seven day week. This all went to shit when on the Wednesday thanks to a bad case of the sniffles I didn't do any at all, preferring to sip lemsip and watch My Name Is Earl when I got in from work.This left me in the ridiculous situation of having to churn out 3250 pushups on the last day.Picture below of a broken man near the end of this challenge.

I don't mind pushups. They are a cheap alternative to grunting in a fitness first and shelling out about a fiver per grunt. They are an exercise I can just about always manage to do whether I am at home, in the park or waiting for a bus when bored. However after doing 3,250 in one day it has been three weeks since my last push up and I honestly don't know when my next one will happen!The form of said pushups dipped dramatically during the week and if I was being marked on them by a marine I probably wouldn't have passed the challenge.I wasn't being marked though so you will have to trust in the fact that after six hours on the Monday night I crept to bed exhausted and with veins screaming out of my big bald forehead. Oh well at least I celebrated with a boiled egg and an apple. Just like Arnie!